Transparency

Holy cow! In less than 18 hours, twice that word, the word I’ve been searching for, slapped me in the face!

I hardly touched the computer yesterday after work and finally picked up a magazine that I hadn’t read in months. In both of those places, I was hit by that word. That idea. Both from new directions. It was NOT a coincidence.

You see, yesterday, someone at work told me that I was not “loyal” and that I lacked “vision”. Those of you that know me, know that me plus those words does not compute. AT ALL.

What was behind the veil was that I need to stop asking so many questions because I am not going to get the answers. “They” know what’s best. I’m to keep my head down and obey. Just do my job, let “them” take care of the rest.

My parents raised me to be honest. My mom has always had ZERO tolerance for lies. I was also raised to stand up for what is right. To be strong and help those that are weak.

To a fault, sometimes, I believe I am that person. Some people say I am too open. Too honest. Too Transparent. I expect too much by wanting others to be the same with me. To tell the truth. To come out from behind the curtain of b.s.

Well, dammit, in these times of marketing bullsh#*t and hype and people pretending they have more money than they do and having terrible debts spiraling out of control, shouldn’t we be more honest? Shouldn’t we be Transparent? Shouldn’t we ask questions to try to fix this mess we’re in? Shouldn’t we find a better way?

We are a nation full of BRILLIANT people with BRILLIANT ideas!

All the questions I have asked have been because I have been so loyal to the college; that it physically hurts me to see it suffer! To see it be less than it can be! It could be so great! It has such great people and is in the most beautiful place on earth!!!

All I have ever wanted for the college is what is best for its “people”. I have worked my butt off trying to do that! I have such big dreams for what it can become! I have tried so hard to do that.

I have fought ferociously for the people. Obviously, to my own detriment (like this post). But I don’t care. I care about this place way too much.

To say that I am not loyal and do not have vision, obviously, cut me to the core. All I have ever wanted was the truth. If we’re in trouble, then let’s get it out in the open. Let’s admit our mistakes. Only then can we get past them! Only then can we truly put our heads together and figure out a solution. That is what I’ve been begging for. I want to help dammit!

I am an idea person. I have visions, great visions, of what we can become. I am loyal to a fault for those I care about. And I care deeply about the college. If I didn’t, this wouldn’t hurt so much. And it does.

I don’t know if I can “keep my head down” and “stop asking so many questions”. It is not who I am.

Maybe I need to chase a different dream. Maybe I need to give up on that one. Maybe it is a “Dip” (from Seth Godin’s book) that I need to get out of. Maybe I need to focus my visions elsewhere? Maybe I need to be loyal to somewhere else? Somewhere Transparent.

Christmas Snow

There’s another snow storm approaching today. We had a scary one last Friday too.  These storms do make it dangerous driving on the roads here. In general, the weather has been pretty mild this winter.

However, if you don’t have to go anywhere, it makes for a beautiful Christmas. I do love the snow for Christmas. Snow is Christmas for me.

1. I remember a ton of snow at Christmas time when I was a kid – it was awesome to get a “snow day” before school was actually out for Christmas break! We could then stay home and play board games and giggle about what we might get from Santa!
2. We grew up on a farm, on a hill with the river below us, it was a beautiful view across the valley of snow covered trees and snow sparkling on the fields. My dad chose that spot especially for the view.
3. Our tobogganing hill was (still is!) famous! It is the place to go for an amazing ride. It is setup special so that we can have a big bonfire. It is a requirement to go tobogganing at least once during the Christmas break – still! As little kids, we had tons of fun going down the hill with our cousins and friends. As teenagers, we were allowed to have tobogganing “parties” at night during a full moon. It was so bright, you could see your shadow! The quiet of a snowy night on the hill is one of my favorite memories.
4. Of course, the river meant lots of skating during the holidays. My dad and other dads in the community would use the river to flood the outdoor rink. I remember lacing up my skates and skating around with the shovel helping shovel snow off the ice until we had enough room to play! Goal posts were someone’s boots – boy were they cold when you put them back on! Many a puck was lost over the boards and into the snow. We’d always find them in the spring, ready again for next year!
5. Skating on the river was cool too – dad would break a hole in the ice, and the water would “flood” the river. We could then skate all over on it. A recent fond memory I have is shortly after we got married, we went out on New Year’s Eve to my parents. The river had been recently flooded, so I convinced my hubby to lace up skates and go skating under the full moon along the river. He is a city boy, so he thought that was pretty amazing – and I thought it was pretty romantic
6. We have extended family that have horses and sleighs. It was always a tradition to go for a sleigh ride with our cousins and family friends. We’d all pile on, sitting on straw bales, snuggled under blankets. The joke always was to see who would get dumped off into a snow drift first! It was hilarious when you’d have to run and catch up to the sleigh again covered in snow! We’d stop and warm up by a fire that my dad and uncles got going. We’d roast hot dogs and have hot chocolate that my mom and aunts would always make sure we had along. We still try to take the kids out and do this during the Christmas break. It is a fond memory I love to share with them!
7. We 4H’ers would head out in the Christmas snow to sing Christmas Carols for the older people in the neighborhood. Everyone pretended that it was a “drag”, but everyone still showed up and spent the evening laughing and singing and loving the occasional chocolate that someone would invariably have waiting for us at their door! My girlfriends and I went out last Christmas and did this with our kids! I hope we can do it again!
8. I love the quiet that snow seems to bring. The way it sparkles in the sunshine or even the full winter moon. To have to squint as I’ve gazed across the field covered in snow, white everywhere. And it seems to me to be like a snuggly blanket – which is kinda weird since it’s so cold. It just feels like it is wrapped around everything, protecting until spring comes again.

These are some of the things that I love about all this snow that comes at this time of year.

The snow is not all bad What do you like about the snow at this time of year?

What Do You Wish For?

What do You Wish For?

My favorite vocal artist is Martina McBride. I came across another video of hers today that I think is appropriate for this time of year and I wanted to share it with you!

For These Times (click on this link for the video to open in another window)

It is the season of wishes. My children have many, especially my daughter.

My wish:

1. That I can become the person I want to be: a wonderful wife and mother, healthy & happy with whatever life brings, able to forgive my enemies,  a true friend and the best example of what is great in mankind

Most days, I wake up and by the end of the day, I believe that I have moved closer to that goal. Some days, not so much.

But, the important thing is, I wake up each day. And each day, I try, try again.

What do you wish for?

Christmas Family Meeting

Well, tomorrow is December 1st and, as usual, I’m a little behind schedule. Not bad though.

I have done some Christmas shopping – I went with my mom and sisters/sister-in-law this past Saturday. That is an awesome idea, by the way. This will become a new tradition, I think. We got to hang out and visit. Compare ideas for each other and the kids, etc. It was totally stress-free! And Yogen Fruz was involved – my favorite!

Anyway, my kids all have their birthdays in November/December, so Christmas likes to sneak up on me.

My husband and I have been talking about a different Christmas this year. This is for a few reasons:

• watching the budget – it’s very tight this year
• we have way too much “stuff” in our house – we’ve been purging/de-cluttering over the past year
• we have been getting too many gifts and so have our kids – it has become an expectation. Personally, I am against that – that is not what Christmas is
• we have been wanting to spend more quality time with them, with each other, with our families and with our friends
• our kids are getting older, so the toys are not such a big deal anymore

Our plan for tonight is to have a “Christmas Family Meeting”. And what do we hope to accomplish with this meeting? (All meetings SHOULD have a purpose and an agenda – though I seem to attend many at work with NEITHER of these things but that’s a topic for another day!)

The Purpose:

Decide what is the best way to celebrate Christmas the Cevraini way

The Agenda:

1. Each family member take a turn telling what parts of the current Cevraini Christmas they like/dislike. No one is allowed to interrupt. Everyone gets heard.
2. Each family member take a turn talking about what they would like to do this Christmas. Some new traditions, new ideas, etc should come out of this!
3. Write this down in the FlyLady’s Holiday Control journal. In our house, if it’s written down, it’s accepted as fact! This way, we can go back later and see what we missed, what we changed our minds on, what was great, etc.
4. Talk about the budget (a little) – this is important, I think, for even the kids. I think that they need to understand that there is not an infinite amount of money to spend. Too often, we make the mistake of not teaching our children about money. My oldest doesn’t have a clue. I plan to make sure that doesn’t happen with the other two. We won’t bore them with details, just understand that we are setting a budget (and what that means) and are going to stick to it.

All in all, I think it will be fun. The kids will all get a chance to contribute and they always feel important when we call “family meetings”. I’m sure it will automatically become less about the presents and more about the time spent together and things we will get to do together.

My kids (all kids, really) just crave the season, not the presents. They like hanging out with their cousins. They like having people over and eating tons of “fun food” instead of having to eat the four food groups everyday! They like staying up late watching Christmas movies. They like going toboganning and maybe skating! They don’t have to go to school! It’s all about family, friends and FUN! That’s what they really want. Isn’t that what we ALL want!??

Let’s all make this the year that Christmas became so much more than the commercials – less toys, but more fun. Less stress, more love. That’s the reason for the season.

My Grown Up Christmas List

Let’s Get on the Bus

OMG! I just came across a very special blog – I don’t even remember the rabbit hole that I went down to find it. But it has hit me like a ton of bricks! I can’t believe how foolish I have been this week, only thinking of myself!

Please watch this: The Years Are Short (click on the link to watch it in a new window)

This little story about riding the bus with her little girl is so true. Life is right here in front of us and so many times, we waste so much time, hurrying, whining and complaining - that we miss it. We miss those moments with our children because we “are too busy”!

Me…I’ve tried to yell less, spend more time with them, and truly listen to them when they talk.

Here’s some examples of things I’ve done with my kids that (hopefully) have made memories for them. They sure have for me!

• Sitting with my daughter the other night teaching her how to write a poem - you should have seen her face as she learned how to put her thoughts on paper!
• Curling up with them at bedtime lately going through a giant “search & find” book. They don’t really need me there, they can read, but they sure want me to snuggle in with them.
• Letting them climb into our comfy, warm bed on the occasional weekend morning. They don’t do it very often anymore, so I cherish it when they do. I used to complain, now I’m sorry I did.
• Spending an entire Sunday creating a stop motion lego people video with them. It was hilarious and so much fun! They loved being the director and coming up with the ideas.
• Building the coolest lego castle for my son for their medieval study in Kindergarten a couple years ago. We spent hours and he was so proud! How many moms play lego?
• My son doesn’t say much, so when he does, I try very hard to get down to his level and listen intently. I think (hope!) it encourages him to say more!
• Two summers ago, I cleared everything out of the kitchen, stuffed towels down the register vents and let them step into ice cream buckets with warm soapy water in their sock feet and let them “skate” around the kitchen floor! They had a BLAST and my floor has never been cleaner! When I was washing the floor the other night, my son asked when we could do that again! He obviously still remembers!
• We used to setup the living room when they were smaller as a “gymnastic arena” – couch cushions in a big soft line, the soft ottoman in the middle, etc. I have it on video; them running along doing all kinds of stunts! This was when they were about 3 and 4 and their big brother would have been 12 or so. He was the announcer. I love that video!

Yes, they have made HUGE messes with these kinds of things. And yes, I had a lot of other things that I could have been doing. BUT…I cherish these memories of them. When I just let them be little. And I wasn’t afraid to be little and be silly with them.

People may have drove by our house and seen the five of us dancing like madmen in the living room, but I didn’t care. Let them wonder. Let them see what they are missing. I hope it made them think about their children and go home and give them a big hug and let their own children dance around the living room on mommy’s feet for a little while.

My point here today: Get on the bus. Take the slowest way possible through your children’s lives, through your own life. They are little for such a short time. See the life that is right in front of you, holding your hand, asking you, “Mommy, can we play today?”

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Gretchen’s blog: The Happiness Project is amazing. I have added it to my list of “must-reads-everyday”! I highly recommend it!